Week 4: Recovering a Sense of Integrity:
A lot of great stuff happened this week. I completed my morning pages every day! I even finished one entire notebook. 120 pages of writing over the last month! It’s was a really good feeling to graduate to a new spiral binder. Of course none of it is anything I want to read again or should read again. Stream of conciousness writing is so theraputic but as content goes it is SO BORING. I find I write a lot about how to structure my day and what I need to get done each day. That’s not all I write about, sometime I write about movies I want to make, projects I want to pursue, relationships I want to work on, tasks I’ve been putting off, but mostly, its boring. What will I do today? How will I get it all done. As the book promises, Morning Pages are becoming critical for me. I ask a lot of myself, and this the best way I’ve ever found to keep my brain from spiraling out of control and my keep spirits up.
I also did my artist’s date this week! Yeah! I spent one hour working on a painting I started last spring. I worked on a it a few time over the summer but it’s been un touched for months. It was fun to remember some of the things I learned in my painting class last winter and spend some time thinking about color. I’m painting a picture of me, Jacob and Emmi in a boat on Lake Merwin. I’m rowing, Emmi is drinking a beer and looking fabulous and Jacob is trying to help me not spin in circles. I just love the colors and perspective. I think it will make a really great painting eventually, but I’m struggling with the water right now. I think I need to consider my brush strokes as well as the paint colors….
The week was not a complete success. Again, I didn’t do all the excercises in the book. I ws suposed to do a reading deprivation. Which I did not do. I really need to, but I just couldn’t get myself in a situation to try it. I still want to though… I’ll have to come up with my own rules as there is absolutly no way I can work at a news station without reading. I’m going to attempt this in the future though. The book says it is a critical experiment. How can I say no to that? I did do some writing about what I was like at age 8 and what I HOPE to be like at age 80. That is a tough question. Have you ever thought about it? I’m still mulling it over. I hope to be reading a lot, walking lot and cooking a lot. One of the tasks I did do, was getting rid of an outfit in my closet that gives me low self-worth. Done. It’s a dress. It’s in the donation pile now. See ya!
At first I didn’t feel that great about the week, but looking back on it now, I feel much better. I did a huge chunk of the work. That reading deprivation task is just hanging over my head. But on to next week. Week 5: Recovering a Sense of Possibility. I’ll be examining what I’d do if I had unlimited resources: money, faith & courage.